


Choice

by Strawberry283



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman: Battle for the cowl (2009), Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Canon? What Canon?, Dick lives in bludhaven, Dick’s creepy harem, From Sex to Love, I know I want porn too, I take the parts that I like and ignore the rest, M/M, Onesided Relationships - Freeform, but no actual sex, implied sexual relationship, mentioned - Freeform, semi-canon-compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:00:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25104337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawberry283/pseuds/Strawberry283
Summary: Jason felt warm, and flustered, and a hundred different things all at once as he thrusted his tongue into Dick’s mouth and swallowed down his breathless moans. He loved this feeling. No matter how many times they did this, it never ceased to blow his mind. He knew that this was a mistake, all the trashy novels he had read in his lifetime had taught him that it was never a good idea to fuck someone you didn’t love twice. But god it just felt so great, the anticipation, the chase across rooftops, the challenge in those bombay blue eyes enough to keep him coming back over and over again, even if he didn’t feel anything for him.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Bruce Wayne-onesided, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Jason Todd/Bruce Wayne-onesided, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne-mentioned
Comments: 8
Kudos: 52





	Choice

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to my lovely beta Sirius_rock_216 for bearing with me even in the middle of exams week. She is a wonder~~~

Jason felt warm, and flustered, and a hundred different things all at once as he thrusted his tongue into Dick’s mouth and swallowed down his breathless moans. He loved this feeling. No matter how many times they did this, it never ceased to blow his mind. He knew that this was a mistake, all the trashy novels he had read in his lifetime had taught him that it was never a good idea to fuck someone you didn’t love twice. But god it just felt so great, the anticipation, the chase across rooftops, the challenge in those bombay blue eyes enough to keep him coming back over and over again, even if he didn’t feel anything for him.

And it’s not like he didn’t feel anything for him. He had once looked at Dick with eyes full of wonder, at the little boy who flew through the air like the most exotic bird ever known to man. It was a reprieve from his sad excuse of a life. And he never told Dick this, but he treasured those moments more than anything in the world, even more than the day Bruce took him in and gave him everything he ever held close to his heart.

***

Dick didn’t remember exactly how it began to save his life. All he could recall was a rooftop and some kind of crisis, the adrenaline buzzing in his veins and the fire in those teal blue eyes. He knew it sounded so cliche, just like all the cheap porn their fans wrote about them. Yeah, he knew about that, he wasn’t as oblivious as they thought he were. When he first read them, he was stuck between amused and outraged. How could they even think that he and Jason could ever work? The boy hated him, or so he claimed to be. Dick knew that it leaned more towards a “Guess I could tolerate you for a bit” attitude these days, but they were not on as good terms as to be boning. Not that he wanted to anyways. No offense to Jason, the guy was a looker, but he just had his eyes set on another someone. 

So he was surprised, the first time Jason kissed him. But there had been something that night, something that made him feel lost and afraid and a hundred things at once, so he didn’t want to fight it. Just closed his eyes and let go of everything. Not that it meant anything. It was just sex. Really, really good sex.

But they both loved someone else at that time. A certain someone who towered above them like an unreachable dream. A dark, ominous pipe dream with an attitude, sure, but a pretty dream nonetheless. Looking back, he thought it was unavoidable that they would fall in love with Bruce. The man gave them everything they ever knew, seeped into their beings through years of familiarity and guidance. And as much as they may hate him at times, he knew they still share the same values, more in his case and less in Jason’s case. But that’s the matter for another day.

He had known he loved him for as long as he could remember. Had dreamt about Bruce telling him he loved him in that deep voice during long nights as a teenager, and fantasised about those large hands holding him down as he pushed into him when he got a little bit older. He didn’t know how it began, but had never doubted or questioned it. It was inevitable, he knew, didn’t mean it hurt any less when he realised that his love would never be returned. To Bruce, he would always be that 9-year-old boy, capable and good and caring and sweet, but never more, never the way one would look at his lover. 

Not that he wanted him to.

It would break everything they ever knew, twisted their dynamics in a way they could never return from. And when it was over - and it would be over, because Dick could never be around Bruce for too long without getting pissed off because of his overbearing nature - it would spell the end of their relationship. And Bruce was more than just a potential lover to him, he was his anchor and his compass, and he would never risk that over anything, not even for the earth-shattering, life-changing sentiment he had searched for his entire life. The world would fall apart even with just one kiss. He knew that, and accepted that.

But it didn’t stop him from wanting, from hoping, from hurting whenever he pushed Bruce towards someone who could really make him happy.

Silly little him.

***

Jason knew he loved Bruce the moment he regained his consciousness, like it was a truth ingrained in his being and it just took a little shaking for his stupid brain to connect the dots. Sure, he could be pretty deep in denial, but the whole “I don’t remember anyone’s name but yours” was pretty on the nose, and if going on a rampage to get Bruce to notice him and gave him the kind of attention Jason felt was rightfully his didn’t spell it for him, then he must have been brain dead. And he wasn’t, at least not anymore, which meant he couldn’t deny that, at least not to himself. And that sucked.

In short, Jason had come to the realisation and accepted the fact that he was in love with the old bat, although it was more of an obsession than love, the in denial part of his brain supplied, but hey if the shoe fits. He didn’t want to act on it, thank you very much, or overall do anything to it other than shoot it to death and bury it in the ground. And he tried, believe him he tried, but the stubborn little thing just wouldn’t die. Troublesome bastard.

Not that he thought he had a chance with him anyway. Even if they were on excellent terms, which, let’s face it, wouldn’t happen anytime soon with that stick up the old man’s ass, he would have to go through Dick to get to that pot of gold. And even he wasn’t foolish enough to trick himself into believing he got a better shot than the golden boy in that endeavor.

He knew Dick was in love with Bruce, ok? He wasn’t fucking blind, not like that sadistic Bat bastard. Didn’t miss the longing looks he sent his way, the worrisome frowns when he was injured and the too bright smiles whenever he heard about whoever it was that Bruce was dating that time. It was a wonder Bruce hadn’t figured it out yet, or maybe he did, he just didn’t give a shit, or maybe he thought if he ignored it long enough it would go away on its own. Typical Bat repression tactics.

So he didn’t know why exactly they ended up fucking, didn’t know what his motives were when he kissed Dick that night on the rooftops. But god something must have gone terrible wrong if it got him to pull such a stupid move. At least the sex was great. 

“It was just a fluke”-he told himself. “It won’t happen again”.

Well it did, because a particular philosopher named Roy Harper had said that if two people had amazing sex once it would happen again. So when the next time they met rolled around and Dick proceeded to attack his face as if his life depended on it, he didn’t question it too much. Because hey, he was getting some, and he would be a fool to turn down the world’s greatest ass.

Dick told him once, when they were all sweaty and sore and satisfied on the futon in one of his safe houses, about his undying love for the old Bat. Smiled at him apologetically and told him - in the soft voice that Richie Grayson used to turn down girls who came onto him - that this could only be physical and nothing more. He had nodded, and told him in a gruff voice that he knew and didn’t expect anything else. And that he wasn’t as good as hiding his affections as he thought he was.

He didn’t tell Dick about his feelings. But by the flinch he made when Dick mentioned Bruce was dating Selina again and the knowing smirk he sent his way afterwards, he knew he had given up all Dick needed to know.

Nifty little bird.

So their relationship carried on in that semi-casual way that all sexual relationships were. They would meet, usually during team up missions, and proceeded to fuck their brains out. And after that they would talk, trading gossip and silly stories of their friends and all the little bats and birds because it was always fun to see them flustered and nervous when he announced he had blackmail material on them. And then they would part ways, with no certain terms of when they would meet again. But they knew they would be back here soon enough, when the itch got too much that Dick would break into one of his safe houses just to laugh at him when he said hello to all of his furniture upon going home, or he would blow up something inconsequential in Bludhaven and cocked a brow at Dick’s suffering face the moment he arrived at the scene because why the fuck not. 

And if Jason refrained from causing more deaths than he normally would, he would blame it on the promise he made with Bruce and deny that a little part of him also did it to keep Dick happy, too. He wasn’t ready to admit it to himself just yet, it was hard enough when Dick sent him a triumphant smile upon hearing about that ridiculous promise, he didn’t need anymore teasing and poking from that walking disaster of a man.

For a while it was fun, easy, flirty and comfortable. And he enjoyed it, until it felt like the fire turned cold. Everything was still the same, but he had the feeling that they were just going through the motions. It was bound to happen eventually, he knew, because there were only that many ways to keep it new and fun and exciting, and those ways were running out, quickly, and this would all come to an end.

Jason was shocked to realise he didn’t want it to end. The thought of this tentative thing disappearing sent shocks of pain lacing through him. He loathed the thought of going back to awkward conversations on rooftops while keeping an eye out for some nameless perp. Not now. Not when he finally knew how it felt like to talk about nothing and everything with someone. 

He didn’t know why but he wanted it to last longer, to be a permanent fixture in his life, not just because it was a good way for him to let out some steam, but also because he just liked talking with Dick. Sure their ideals were different, what’s with Dick following Bruce’s ideals to the T like a champ. But they had both mellowed out throughout the years, and Dick’s ideals had changed, if only a little bit, leaning towards his side of things as life continued to kick him in the balls. Jason was only a little bit sympathetic towards him, because Dick is the kind of guy that didn’t deserve half the shitty cards that were dealt to him, but at the same time, he felt like the guy needed a wake up call anyways. So he figured not saying “I told you so” to his face all the time was as good a gesture as any, and judging by the smiles Dick sent his way, he appreciated it.

So yeah, they could hold civil conversations now, discussing their lives like two crappy philosophers on small mattresses in bare safe houses. And he loved those conversations, even if they were mostly meaningless chatter. Sometimes it felt nice not having to talk to his furniture, he reasoned.

***

Dick was quick to realise that something was wrong with Jason. He didn’t say anything out of the ordinary, but that’s nothing new. Jason never really said anything to him anyways. But after all this time, he had learned to read him like an open book. He seemed nervous about something, and judging by the way he kissed him like it was their last time every time they met up, he thought it had something to do with this...arrangement. He wanted to know, if only just to ease his worries, but didn’t dare to ask, too afraid of Jason bolting if any living breathing being dared to make him talk about his feelings.

But it scared him, the thought of their relationship ending. He didn’t know why, but he had gotten used to nights of shared patrol and quiet mornings waking up to the inviting smell of eggs. And the conversations. The little talks where he brought up mundane stories just to hear Jason say something sarcastic and edgy and just so uniquely him that never fail to bring a smile to his face. He didn’t know what he would do without all of that, didn’t want to go back to a life with just instant ramen and being alone in his apartment all the time. When he first moved out, the solitude was a welcoming change from all the ideas Bruce was going on about that got on his last nerves, but as time went by he found that the silence could be deafening sometimes, that it pulled him too deep into his mind, and he didn’t like that one bit.

He never really bothered asking himself what it was that he was feeling towards Jason. He didn’t need to. He just knew he wanted them to keep going, to keep existing in the same bubble of peace they found themselves in. But it was slipping. And he was so afraid, but didn’t know what to do.

It haunted him, the fear of what would happen next, of the loneliness and a looming sense of wrongness that came with it. Things weren’t changing, not just yet, but he couldn’t help but wait for the next shoe to drop, for his world to be turned on its head. He hated it, all this worrying and dreading for the worst. If he were younger he would try to tough it out, to talk himself into acting all blase and unaffected, but he was tired, and it hardly seemed worth pretending. He never felt that way before, not even when he was 20 and heartbroken when he realised he was in love with the only person he shouldn’t be in love with, not when the woman he loved broke off their engagement or when he had to let his childhood friend go. He was no stranger to change, with the circus blood running in his veins. But he was in a different state of mind now, he guessed, and this state of mind told him he wouldn’t welcome this change as easily as he did all the others.

He would survive, of course he would, he wasn’t the teenager who believed the end of a relationship would be the end of one’s life anymore. But he didn’t want to go back to the old, tumultuous life he left behind. 

He had to do something. He just didn’t know what it was. So in the meantime he just clung to their time together and hoped it wouldn’t be the last. 

But he had to do something soon. Jason was the one who started this whole thing, and if he wanted to keep it going, then it’s his turn. He couldn’t help but feel pressured, as if the world was holding its breath waiting to see what he would do next. He just had to figure out what it was first.

Turned out he didn’t have to try too hard, didn’t even have to look, to be honest. He just woke up one night in the wee hours of the morning to find Jason smoking next to the window in only his boxers. On quiet feet he walked up to him, stood silently by his side and looked down at the beloved city he chose for himself. It was peaceful, the sleepiness of the morning and companionable silence blanketed them like a cocoon. He couldn’t help but felt content, because this is a choice he made and not something that slammed into him and pulled him under like all of his other affairs. This is the kind of feeling that they found and built for themselves, together. With that in mind, it only felt natural to reach across the distance to take Jason’s cigarette and held it to his mouth. Jason gave it up dutifully, turning his head a little bit to look at him, giving him all his attention. It never stopped calming him, the intensity and attentiveness of that stare, to the point where the words escaped his lips without him realising it.

“I love you.”

***

Jason was stunned for a moment, looking at Dick as if he had lost his mind. What was the idiot trying to pull? Even an idiot knew he was in love with Bruce. Believe him, he asked, Damian’s exact words were “I have eyes, Todd.” Bewildered, he shot back a glare.

“No, you don’t.”

Dick smiled that little smile of his, which always came up whenever Bruce was mentioned.

“Maybe not.”-he amended easily. Jason flinched involuntarily. It stung. Even though he knew they were not in love in any way, a little part of him was hoping he would hear that and believed him one day. 

He thought the conversation finished when Dick piped up again, incredibly soft.

“But I wanna date you.”-he looked Jason in the eye at that, blue orbs twinkling, face set in a determined expression, like all the times he stood his ground against a villain, or when he wanted to win an argument with Bruce, which Jason guessed were one and the same anyway. Then he asked, slower, more hesitant.

“Could I date you?”-and he looked shy all of a sudden. The look incredibly out of place on the perpetually confident and flirty thing that is Nightwing, but he found out that it suited Dick, the person that is so much more than just a mask and a catsuit. 

Jason was struck with a realisation that this was what he was waiting for, an invitation to put this arrangement of theirs on solid ground, a promise that it wouldn’t end without rhyme nor reason. He didn’t know why Dick was offering, maybe it was because he was lonely out here all on his own, or maybe he was trying to move past the decade-long one-sided thing that he said he hated. For a moment he debated not saying yes, a small voice inside his head asking him “Aren’t you supposed to only date the person you love?”. But it quieted quickly, as if realising that it didn’t matter anymore, a fickle thing that is his supposed love to a man he couldn’t tolerate for too long even on his best days. 

In that moment, all he needed to know was that Dick was offering him the thing he wanted, and he would be a fool to turn that down.

So he smirked at him, trying to act all cool and collected even though inside he was screaming because he could hardly believe his luck, and shot him a quick nod.

“Sure, Pretty bird. You could date me.”

They did date, to his disbelief. They went out to dinners in restaurants and movies on the nights that the others cover their patrol. Sure, they still have shared team-ups and mind-blowing “sexy times”, as Dick put it, the weird little shit, but overall they kinda function like a real couple now, which is something he never thought was possible for them. Saying that they had issues was the understatement of the millenia, and he was sure not a single person who knew them would associate them with anything other than explosion and cursed words.

But they made it work. Miraculously easy, if he may add. The transition came so smoothly he didn’t recognize there were any changes to begin with. It was hard, the first couple of weeks, Jason’s mind constantly on alert, waiting for something to go wrong, something to confirm all of his fears that maybe all of this was a fucking joke the universe thought would be funny to pulled on him. He wasn’t paranoid, god damn it, remember the time the universe decided it would be fun to bring him back to life? See? The shit had a vendetta against him. He just fucking knew it. 

But weeks went by and nothing happened, so Jason found himself eased up a little bit. 

Everything was fine. They were here. They got this.

Things started to solidify, little by little, bit by bit, just like this patched up little thing they whipped up out of nowhere, and the vice that was squeezing his heart loosen. 

He didn’t know if Dick told anyone they were dating. Sure he didn’t blab, but that wasn’t because he was embarrassed or ashamed or anything, he just thought it wasn’t anyone’s business. But they weren’t exactly subtle. He was sure that they were public with it enough that anyone who paid attention, like his overprotective family and the many many old men waiting in line to be Dick’s next sugar daddy, would have heard of it already. Honestly, he was baffled that Dick’s creepy harem hadn’t jumped him just yet. He was so ready for the Demon Brat to jump out from a dark corner screaming for his head. Fucking was one thing, and that was something that people are used to nowadays. With the hero community being as small as it was, everybody was sure to have fucked everybody at one point. But dating sounded more serious, permanent, and he couldn’t help but feel warm a little bit on the inside at the thought.

They moved in together. He knew, it was crazy. But in his defense, he didn’t ask for it. He was always staying at Dick’s place whenever he was in Bludhaven already, and when Dick complained about not wanting to sleep in lumpy beds in dirty safe houses, he just thought it was just logical that they bought an apartment together if only for him to shut the fuck up. But he was a total mess and so Jason had to be the one to keep everything organized and proper enough for it to be called an apartment. That is how he found himself watering the plants on the balcony and going around the apartment picking up Dick’s escrima sticks and realised that the apartment is theirs now. Their stuff littered in every corner, little trinkets of different styles harmoniously mixed together. 

“Oh!”-Jason thought to himself as he felt his mouth unconsciously quirked up-”Is this what happiness feels like?”

So of course that was when things blew up in his fucking face. He was sitting on a crate next to the docks after busting Penguin’s operation while he heard the tell-tale flutter of an enormous fucking cape and knew what was waiting for him even before he turned his head.

“Hello, Daddy.”-he gave Bruce his best sultry smile and bedroom eyes just to annoy him. It didn’t flustered him anymore when he associate Bruce and sex, not like it was just too long ago. “Huh, since when had that happened?”- he thought quickly to himself - but sobered up the moment he heard Bruce spoke.

“Jason.”

He still shuddered when he heard Bruce called his name, he noted, although it was less anticipation and more “What the fuck do you want know?” nowadays. He figured he knew just exactly what this was about. The man only come to him if he had a) killed some bastard, which he hadn’t, or at least not as far as he knew, b) if he had a favour so call in, or as Bruce liked to put it, “an important mission”, which, judging by the lack of a colorful cape and scowling face, was not the case here. So that only left c) if he disapproved of any choices Jason had made recently, and that choice was busy being seductive and pretty in a gala somewhere tonight, which meant that if the old Bat wanted to corner him without the golden boy biting his head off, it had to be now.

Fucking finally.

“So, to what do I owe the displeasure?”-he leered at him, just because he fucking can.

The man narrowed his eyes at him, looking as if he was trying to find the right words but couldn’t, that big brain of him not having enough vocabulary to describe feelings. It was honestly very entertaining looking at his face muscle twitch, so Jason was in no rush to help him just yet, just sitting there patiently waiting it out with a raised eyebrow.

But while he was waiting, his mind wandered. He thought about all the different ways this was about to play out, about how Dick was going to feel when he heard about this. Would he be angry, sad, happy? Oh god would he be happy, that the man he loved cared about him enough to disapprove of his choice of partners? Would Dick leave him, if Bruce asked him to? Logically, he knew he wouldn’t, or else things wouldn’t get this far, but a little piece of him was still afraid. That was when the pain was back, as he realised that things hadn’t settled between them, that he just shoved it in a box to try and forget all about them. But it wasn’t working anymore, not when he knew that Dick would leave him if Bruce told him he loved him.

He was so engrossed in his inner turmoil he missed what Bruce said entirely, and had to shamefully say “Come again?” like an idiot. Bruce repeated, as if speaking to a stubborn little child, and he was stuck between wanting to rage and wanting to cry.

“I don’t understand why he would love you.”-he said, puzzled.

He laughed bitterly.

“He doesn’t. Ask your little birds, hell, ask anyone with a decent set of eyes, you would know who it is that the golden boy is in love with.”

The encounter left a bad taste in his mouth. He thought he was over this, the voice in his head always whispering that he wasn’t good enough. He knew he should say something, do something, anything to convince Dick to stay with him. The old him would make a scene, would go on a rampage because things didn’t go his way, but he didn’t want to beg or to place Dick under that kind of pressure. He had decided to stop being an edgy little shit and grow up the moment he became a leader, and he wasn’t gonna throw all that away, not even for the Pretty bird.

Especially not for him. He wouldn’t appreciate it.

It surprised him that he knew these things now, how Dick would feel or would act in certain situations. He figured it was useless, but was grateful that if things went sour, he would get to keep these little knowledge not everyone knew about forever, a memento of their time together. 

Dick got bored with his gloomy mood, probably used to it already. He never pushed Jason when he was like this, at least not anymore, had learned to wait until Jason came to him, and respect his wishes if he wouldn’t. He just came up to him whenever he was smoking and held him from behind, lean fingers pressed to his beating heart.

It was peaceful, as it always was whenever they were together now, but it felt different. Stifling. Charged. As if the calm before the storm.

He didn’t mean to overhear. He swore. It was a complete accident. He was waiting for Dick outside the Cave after one of their family missions, chatting with the Little bird (he gave up on calling the boy Replacement because he genuinely liked him now, but wouldn’t admit it even if you held a gun to his head.) when he realized he had forgotten his hood on the table.

“Do you love him?”-he heard Bruce questioned him, voice casual as if he didn’t just turn their entire relationship upside down with that question.

A pregnant pause where everyone held their breath followed. And he was really holding his breath, not daring to even twitch, as if he could change the inevitable answer just by keeping still.

“I don’t know.”

He breathed out. Disappointed but not entirely surprised, he had known that as fact a long time ago. Still, it hurted more than he cared to admit.

“Do you love me?”-Again with the casual attitude. How could he be so calm when Jason felt like breaking down on the spot?

“Yes.”-it was shaky, but loud enough to make it across the room. It was resigned, and determined, proud, certain, leaving no room for doubt.

“You shouldn’t be with someone you don’t love.”

“I know.”

So this is it then.

Jason left, not wanting to stick around, not wanting to hear the end of the peace he had held so dear spelled out by him.

He packed quickly, not caring if he left anything behind. Just the necessities, the things that couldn’t be replaced in the nearest convenient store. While packing he vaguely registered that what he was doing seems childish, that an adult wouldn’t run away from their problems. But this is not a fight he could win.

He just needed to get away, if only to calm his mind.

He promised himself he would be back, because he couldn’t be away from Gotham for too long. She might be a shithole, but she was his shithole, and he loved her too much to be away from her for too long.

At least that was what he told himself when he moved from city to city, from country to country, chasing down shitty mobs and busted sloppy jobs. The jobs were beneath him, more suited for the police force who played by the up-and-up. But the motions were calming enough to keep his mind from his troubles, mostly because he didn’t have enough energy to do more than eat and shower before collapsing in a heap on the floor of whatever excuse of a safe house he got that day.

He would admit, if only in moments where he was half-delirious from exhaustion and sleep deprivation, that maybe the reason why he delayed coming back was that he was hoping Dick would come find him sometimes.

Stupid, he knew. But he just can’t stop hoping, even if it killed him.

***

Dick felt like crying when Bruce put him on the spot with his questions. He felt vulnerable and laid bare, a feeling he hadn’t felt in his presence ever since that fateful night when they first met. But it was back now, Bruce knowing exactly what to ask, where to push, how to corner and break down his walls all at once. He went at it methodologically, as if it was just another puzzle to be solved, and he hated him for it. Hated him for turning everything upside down, hated him for being selfishly oblivious all those years and selfishly knowing right now when it suited him.

But he didn’t lie. Didn’t want to. Because it was not a shameful little secret. It was this thing that they savaged from all the broken pieces that were them and pieced together. It was real, and it was good, and it was something that he would fight for with all his might, even when others disagree. 

So he answered all of Bruce’s questions even when his voice was shaking, even when it hurted like a bleeding wound when he had to force out the “Yes.” he had tried so hard to hide from him. He never felt like justifying this relationship with anyone, but he felt like doing it now, needed to make him understand that this was his choice, the right one, the one he would make a thousand times over.

“You shouldn’t be with someone you don’t love.”-he sounded unsure, as if parotting it back from somewhere in the depths of his memories. With Bruce’s track record in relationships, he wouldn’t be surprised. It felt ridiculous, that a man as emotionally stunned as he is would think himself to be knowledgeable enough to give him dating advice. But this is not the time to be sassy. This is the time to be strong.

“I know.”-and his voice gained confidence the harder he thought about it, about all the times he woke up with a heavy arm across his waist and soft snoring against his shoulder, about the soft scolding Jason would utter when he saw him clumsily mend his hero suit, about the faint melody Jason would hum under his breath when he was making dinner. And Dick looked straight at him, at the man he had loved all his life and maybe could never stop, eyes alight and more determined than he ever was during all of their talks.

“But I choose him.”

He was scared when he found out Jason didn’t wait for him, especially after the talk he just had with Bruce in the middle of the Cave where anyone could overheard. He was downright terrified when Tim told him he left without a single word. He sped home in a hurry, hoping beyond hope he hadn’t just packed up and left, because even if Jason had matured over time, this is one of those times when he would definitely run, and he was good enough at running that Dick was afraid he would be lost to them forever.

His fears were confirmed the moment the door opened and he noted the gun cases were missing. He didn’t know if he should rage or cry, both options seemed equally preferable at the time, but he pushed them aside. He knew he had to start chasing if he wanted to make it. And he intended to make it even if it was the last thing he did.

He pointedly ignored the note that said “I’m sorry.” on the bedside table.

“Tell it to my face, you little shit.”-he thought, as he sped into the night with nothing but his costume and escrima sticks.

The chase wasn’t as hard as he thought it would, little clues left behind like a sick game. He knew Jason was more than good enough to cover his tracks if he wanted to, so this gave him hope that maybe a little part of him still wanted to be found, to be reassured that what they had was real, and that he wasn’t going anywhere.

He found him on an uneventful Tuesday chasing some half-assed mobster. It was so easy a job that he got bored halfway through. But hey, stopping evil is still stopping evil, even if they are cringy as hell. At least it got him to Jason.

“You are not a hard man to find, Hood.”-he joked cheerily, even if on the inside he just wanna smother Jason in his arms, then punch him, and then kiss him all over.

Jason looked surprised to find him standing there, hood nowhere to be seen, so his facial features were wide open. Dick could read him well enough now even with those white-out lenses on his mask. He was surprised. And relieved. Oh thank the everliving god, he wasn’t gonna be shot at anytime soon as long as he didn’t say anything stupid.

“Why are you here, Big Bird?”-now he sounded hopeful, and that got Dick to smile.

“You didn’t come home last night, and I was worried.”-he replied easily, the banter a second nature to him now after all of those shared patrols.

“Oh cut the crap, Dickhead.”-he sounded angry now, guess the teasing was overkill. “Why are you here and not trailing after the big bad Bat?”

“How much did you hear?”-Dick asked. He knew Jason didn’t hear everything if this is how he reacted. Honestly he didn’t expect anything more. Patience was never his Little Wing’s strong suit.

“Enough.”-Jason practically growled, not even bothered to deny the eavesdropping. This is bad. He had to defuse the situation fast if he didn’t want a bullet to the stomach. Sure the kevlar would protect him, but they still hurt and bruise, and he would rather have the fun kind of bruising tonight if things would just go his way.

“So you did hear the part where I told him that I chose you?”-he smirked triumphantly when he saw Jason’s jaw relaxed a fraction. He knew he shouldn’t be difficult in a grave situation like this but he couldn’t help it, he got awfully chirpy when he was nervous.

“What do you mean you chose me? You told the fucking B you were in love with him”. His hands were hovering close to his ears because he figured Jason would shout but he didn’t, the sentence was said with tiredness and resignation, the sound hurted his heart more than any shout ever could.

He swallowed. This is it. This is time to crack out the charm. He chanced a step forward, and when Jason didn’t raise his guns, he quickly crossed the distance and pulled him into his arms.

“But I want you.”-he said proudly, trying to pour all the conviction he had into that sentence. 

“You make me happy, and I want to be with you.”- here he faltered, because he really didn’t think this far ahead before running his mouth - “That is, if you wanted..to be with me...ugh...too?- he finished awkwardly, cursing himself why he could pour practiced sugar-sweet lines on Gotham’s most eligible men and women but was stunned into silence just by a stubborn boy from Crime alley.

He stepped away a little to give Jason room to collect his thoughts, but didn’t want to get too far away, the warmth from that body pulling him in, promised a kind of safety and familiarity he never thought he could find.

“Do you mean that?”-Jason asked hesitantly, his voice was a bit shaky around every few syllables, but Dick wasn’t foolish enough to point that out. He wasn’t in better shape, to be honest, the conversation more emotionally draining than he thought it would be.

“I do.”-he replied with a smile and raised his hand, a mimic of Jason’s call long ago for him to join him on that speeding train. The thought made him smile. If anyone had told him in that moment that he would one day be willing to be within 5 feet around Jason, he would laugh in their faces. But they had grown a lot since then. And if that was where they began, then he wanted this to be where they get to begin again.

“Come home with me?”- he offered with an earnest smile.

And as if reading his mind, Jason took his hand in his calloused palm while whining in a high-pitched voice. “Take it now Jason. You have no choice. Take my fucking hand.”

They bursted out laughing, the earlier somber mood forgotten. They walked hand in hand to where Jason was storing his weapons that night and all the way to the airport.

“To be fair, I didn’t say “fucking”.”-he said as he pressed his face to Jason’s shoulder on the plane, their hands still intertwined like in some cheesy romance movie, but he liked it that way.

“Go to sleep, Dickie.”-Jason said lightheartedly. And he listened.

They are going to be just fine.

***

When they got back to the apartment, Jason was a little amazed to see it just the way he left, a few things taken but nothing was out of place, as if they just took too long to get home from patrol one day. 

It was so normal and ordinary that it made it hard to breathe. 

They took a long shower, carefully scrubbed the dirt and grime off their bodies while simultaneously pushing each other out of the way to get to the showerhead. Afterwards they fucked on their bed, and Jason would complain about them getting dirty again. But as he pressed his forehead to Dick’s that night, eyes locked on baby blues and sharing the same breathless gasp, he knew his life would get to be like this for a very very long time.

They were playing video games on the couch one afternoon, laughing and screaming for blood when the door suddenly opened on its own accord. Without missing a beat they charged together, Dick from the top down and Jason from the bottom up, covering each other smoothly like they always had ever since they learned of each other’s existence.

And that was how mister playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne found himself with a stick blocking his windpipe and twin guns pointing to his stomach.

They retracted immediately when they realized who he was, dropping their weapons almost simultaneously with a “Learn to fucking call ahead, asshole.” from Jason and a “Why didn’t you tell us you were coming?” from Dick. Bruce was about to open his mouth and said something when the two suddenly stopped on their tracks back to the livingroom and tensed visibly. They slowly turned back to look at him, the sight too similar to a kid’s cartoon that it was comical, but Bruce was too confused as to what was happening to really care.

They inched closer to each other, fingers meeting and twined together, as if expecting the apocalypse. Then Dick spoke, tentatively, as if poking a bear.

“Why are you here?”

He looked at them. At their hands held tightly together, and realized that they were afraid. He didn’t know what it was exactly, but he had a pretty good guess. 

He didn’t know if what he felt in that moment was guilt or not, but he pushed it down anyways.

“I want to apologize for doubting your choices.”

Apparently that was the right thing to say, because he could see their shoulders relaxed a fraction. But they still looked at him worryingly, and he didn’t want to antagonize them any further, so he bid them a quick goodbye and be on his way.

***

Jason was afraid. He knew he shouldn’t be, knew that they were happy and comfortable enough that everything wouldn’t just combust if Bruce voiced his disapproval now. But the 15-year-old boy in him craved recognition from the man who looked up to above all else. He knew that no matter what Bruce said he would still be ok, old enough and tired enough to not mull over every word he said, but he still didn’t want to hear Bruce tell him he wasn’t good enough. It would still sting, even after all these years.

***

Dick was also afraid. He also knew he shouldn’t be, that their relationship wouldn’t just die because of Bruce’s displeasure, but he really didn’t want the man to come barge into his apartment, into this little corner of the world that they carved out for themselves with everything they’d got, and told them that this was all a mistake. He didn’t think it was a mistake, and he sure wouldn’t think that just because Bruce said so, but it felt...disrespectful, somehow, to the effort they had to go through in order to make this happen.

But neither of them were strong enough to chase Bruce out the door in a fit of anger. So they just stood there and quietly let each other know they were here, that they were not alone, and no matter how terrible this was going to turn out, they would face it, together.

***

They were a little bit surprised when they were let off the hook that easily, but they knew better than to question it. When it came to emotions and Bruce, it was best not to ask too many questions.

They turned to each other when the door closed fully, blue finding teal, and shared a long and lingering kiss that had them dizzy. Jason opened his eyes to find Dick’s hands fisted on the front of his T-shirt, his eyes a little bit misty despite the blinding smile on his face.

“I love you.”-he said slowly, as if willing Jason to believe each and every word.

And Jason did. Didn’t care if it were true the way others told them that it was. To him, being in love is this easy peace inside their apartment, the way they fit their lives together like two seamless pieces of puzzle. The earth shattering, mind numbing, heart wrenching, life changing sentiment could go shove it, because he chose to believe that this is what being in love feels like.

“I love you too.”-he uttered softly, and proceeded to peck those tempting lips, just because he could.

They really were going to be just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> I always enjoy the idea that happiness and love is something you choose for yourself and I think that translates beautifully to JayDick.  
> I don’t use social media so if anyone wants to share anything about this ship and anything DC related, feel free to leave a comment. I absolutely appreciate it.  
> Anything constructive is welcomed~~~


End file.
